In case you haven't figured it out, the fate of all blogs is that they all end up getting dismissed as soon as their authors' lives pick up again.
But a lot of things have bugged me in the time I've had away from the keyboard. Consequently, negative subjects serve more inspiration for me than feel-good subjects. It's odd, `cause I'm a "feel-good kinda' guy".
Like these damned "Support Our Troops" ribbons. At first, it was a nice token, reminiscing on that old song, "Tie a yellow ribbon `round the oak tree." Cute, but back then, people actually tied a yellow ribbon around an oak tree. Today, we speak through bumper stickers. It was an alright gesture at first, but after a while all I could think was, "I haven't heard anyone bad mouthing our troops, but I have heard (and made) some choice comments about this dumb f_cking 'war' they're stuck in."
Then came the variations. The "God Bless America" ribbon, the "Cure Autism" ribbon, the "Fight Breast Cancer" ribbon, the "Adopt-a-Pet" ribbon, the "Support Miniature Golf" ribbon... which all beg the question, "if you felt that strongly about a cause, don't you think a cliché magnetic bumper sticker somehow misses the mark?" I mean, support our troops? That's about as vague as support protein-rich diets. Support? How? By putting a 2 dollar bumper sticker on my car?
And with the whole "God Bless America" stickers, it kills me to see this popular resurgence of faddish patriotism, especially from a generation of people who couldn't pass a fourth grade American history exam.
Again, I don't know what changed in the last five years, but the same folks who've done nothing but bitch about the people in this country and the way it's run suddenly are praying for God's national blessing. You better be praying for America - it's the land empowers your bumper with the 1st Amendment (which is probably the only remaining amendment we remember).
But, to be fair, let me add that one magnet ribbon can be a sign of support. Two is a little bit trite. Three or more is devaluing the entire message. You might as well finish off the montage with some Troll doll stickers and some boy-peeing-on-Chevrolet/Ford stickers; you'd be conveying about the same depth of conviction.
Quitting the soap operas
Here's another point I've realized recently; I have no political position. Further, I hate politics. To me, the term has become the equivalent of "TV soap opera". Some people get their fix from America Idol, and some from Hannity and Colmes. The only misfortune is that some people still believe either show is somehow real.
Here's another point I have to proclaim: the adage about a book and its cover even applies to politicians. That whole Liberal / Conservative hoopla is about as polar and simplistic as "Type A" and "Type B" people. That's it. You fall into one of two categories. Sorry. If you're lucky, you can be a little of both and get a third label called "Moderate". Yeah, I think the President is a dumbass, but that doesn't make me a Democrat. I did not sign up for that; there's a whole sea full of dumbasses in Congress, and they come in a rainbow of political alignments. Just as in life, you gotta' look at the individual.
And so, if this two party system is the way of things in Congress and the Presidency, I'm definitely remaining an outsider. All I'd say is if one of my buddies is on a ticket for office, they got my vote.
An open letter to the friends I may / may not vote for.
Except for you A.J. - you are sick, twisted, and I've seen your plans already. Being cloned and chained for propaganda work my ass! Jay, you'd make a good, bitter, angst-ridden voice for Irish Americans everywhere. Brown Chau, dunno. Verdict's still out, but you're still invited for June. Bowytz, yeah. You'd give Democracy a little pizzazz! Neil, somehow I'd see you being a supporter of corporal punishment, or at least a burden on the beef industry. Don, I somehow picture ashcans and empty kegs on the White House lawn with Rob passed out (Annabelle in lap) and Klos doing jello shots. Unick, yes, because you pick up all details, and White House needs more Simpsons quotes. Yanchak, sure, you're multifaceted - you could probably run a country and fall league at the same time. Tim, well, if you do go "lifer" on us (and with the state of affairs in the private sector, I'd say there's much worse places than "the wild blue yonder"), you'd make a good seat at the Pentagon. I could imagine intelligence briefs done with stylish Jap-Anime style Flash movies. Chef Joe, props to yinz, but stay out of office - you'd go nuts and stab someone (or drink a lot, and want to play Madden with your VP). Leif, if you're out there, you got my vote just out of respect. You can get shit done, and you get an "A" for resourcefulness in my books. Greg, I'm almost interested to know what you'd do - you got my vote just for curiosity's sake. Smilf (Smith), leatherneck (er, yut), yeah, you got my vote, but only if you give me back that Sprite. Budd, you got it. Hands down, it yours. You're a man of action, because your short and can kick most mens' asses, like Joe Pesci. And, by now, I'm sure you have enough resources for the job. ...If I get into office, you're all getting first class seats to Camp David for a bitching kegger! Chances are, Mike is the better Kovats candidate - he has real management experience, and honestly, I'd end up misplacing secret documents and stuff. Plus, he's got a God-like gift of pointing out details, which has got to come in handy for public office.
