Honestly, for me, it was an easy decision. Proposing to Anna wasn't the hard
part. Everything else involved, although, was a small headache.
But you know, those days of build up really concrete a man's character and
relationship with his spouse. For one thing, every decision is re-examined at
least fifteen times before the final day. Then, before the wedding, the bride
becomes uncharacteristically melancholy, pitying how all preparations are going
and speculating the worst. "No one will be happy,....
I hate my dress... My thighs are big...". Stuff like that. As a
groom, your job is to witness, support, and always be the "glass
half-full" type before and during the wedding.
The ceremony
When the big day comes, lot's of stuff passes by you, but you pull it together,
do your part, and make the wedding happen. The bride walks down the isle as
this magnificant, radiant princess, ready to cry in joy. You
then know that all is well.
Then, when her father hands her to you and says, "take
care of her", you finally realize the levity of the situation. This
is someone's daughter! You're going to make her happy forever! Or, at least
marginally amused.
So, you take her hand, tear up a little (but not cry, you promised
you wouldn't cry), and after a the biggest vows of your life, you head to the
reception where the groom takes on his second responsibility - getting
piss drunk. Dance the dance, throw the garter, shove the cake, and party
like you're in college again. That part rocks.
Aftermath
I never realized how much fun a wedding could be. After the ceremony had ended,
Anna suggested to me, "after all that, I was
hoping for something to go wrong, so I'd remember it. Just some sort of Wedding
day blooper to mark the occasion." I could understand - it was like
the whole audience was more serious than we were at that point. A lot
of the burden was lifted when we made it to the church, everyone was there,
and a Priest was present to officiate. Everything else was just "I do,
I do."
And now we're husband and wife. Nutz, but that's the situation.
We're still soaking it in. Up till our engagement, we were still trying to express
something greater than boyfriend / girlfriend. Now, we're trying to say
husband / wife without smirking.
If anything, I've learned this from the whole event:
Let the caterers do everything. Seriously, everything. It's worth
the aggravation.
Don't waste your money on a Photographer if your have a camera savvy relative
ready for pictures. Seriously. We ended up with over 1000 pictures from people
who didn't try to sell us our own photos.
Remember relatives who are traveling to see you; they don't always know
the area very well.
Sam's Club sells 100 styrofoam containers for $9.00. It's worth it. Really,
what are you going to do with 8 pounds of baked beans?
Everything you worry about before the wedding will be trumped by the act
of marriage itself, so stop sweating it.
Also, I regret not sending invitations to my close friends. Had I known how
smooth everything was, I'd have invited you guys in a heartbeat. But,
I found out about a chemical spill in I-95 that delayed road travel and the
money involved for guests, so I'd have felt bad about obligating you to gifts
and a weekend of travel. Silly, stupid me. Sorry guys. I'm still thinking of
ya. Even more than ever now that Atlanta is proving lame.
Through all this wedding adjustment, I will point out one thing: wedding's
bring right home the love you have for your friends, your family, and your wife.
It's a big reminder of everything you already knew (or suspected). Big fat
reminder.
Weddings can be great. Especially if your in-laws are great.
I lucked out. Tato, Mama, love you both. Pals, it's been too long.
9.21.05