To be connected

The use to be only two things that were certain in every American's life. You know them: death, and taxes. Simple, acceptable terms for the red white and blue.

Then technology spoiled us, and now we have a few more: a phone provider, a TV provider and/or the Internet. It feels so damn sad to be at the mercy of being "connected", but that's what we deal with every time we sign a contract with the devil, cleverly disguised as Verizon, Comcast or any other service provider.

First off, what the hell is a service charge or a processing fee? Comcast offers no justification, just a circumstantial explanation:

[A processing fee] applies to locations that offer check or credit card payments over the phone.

What the hell is this? Basically, this is what a thug would call "protection fee". It's the polite way of saying, "you want service? You pay us what we tell you, or else you could try one of the other cable providers... heh heh heh."

If you're duped into the Comcast Internet deal, you'll find immediately nothing is cheaper than $60 a month. If you bite the bullet and sign up for their 30 channels / cable Internet deal, you're at the whims of their shaky servers. When outages occur (and they will), you have to call once when the outage starts, and then again once it stops in order to even try to argue a prorated bill. The technicians are not in sync with the home office, so everything they tell you is about as trustworthy as the promises of an Army recruiter at the end of a quota period (you'll be a combat gardener stationed in Hawaii, I promise!).

Verizon has a more elaborate scheme that starts when you think you're getting a $39 monthly bill that ends up being $47 after "additional fees" that "may apply". Once you're hooked, you have a web of rules similar to a second-grade game of Tag. No backsies, black-magic, no take-backs, magic safe spots, alternate bases... all this in grown-up legalese. Further, on occasion, you'll find they slip in a few charges just to see if you're on your toes.

The beauty of Capitalism works for the consumer only when we can tell one company "up yours" and switch to another. Verizon limits this with their $175 early contract withdrawal fee, and Comcast limits this by having no direct competitor. This crap gets way too old, and I don't know why people have to put up with it.

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And that's the sum of my soapbox rant. Here's a good spot to hear other soapbox rants when you're ready to start new service:

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/

- George