The truly agile IT professional knows the ways of the six figure ninja. Think fast!
For you see, the six figure ninja is always alert and ready to hand out his resume at the slightest whip of the breeze. The way of the six figure ninja is an elusive one - a lifestyle driven by one purpose: to make a six figure salary at whatever cost. Oh yes, you may feel deft and nimble, but can you switch 3 jobs in a week? That takes the training of a true six figure ninja!
So what the hell is a six figure ninja?
You probably see this in all job markets, but the IT field especially harkens professionals of a flighty nature, sailing on promises, wowing with buzzwords, and leaving behind a wake of bitter job references for new ventures that measure in days. Study the rules of the six figure ninja!
Dress for the hunt! You cannot relax for a moment as the six figure ninja. A moment may turn a cell phone conversation into a job interview! Be on guard! Always wear dress shirts and keep fress business cards at hand. You must wear arrogance as you would cuff links, and smugness as you would a leather belt.
Live your goals today You may not earn six figures today, but always speak as though you have for years. Every co-worker is an opponent. Prove you are the best man through your speech and a condescending tone. All must recognize the great man at any cost.
Groom like the ninja you are Do not settle for the look of the feeble! You're loyalty is to you! Show this through your grooming, be it your haircut, tatoos, glasses or body piercings - but not all!! The six figure ninja is unique, and the six figure ninja may blend incongruous components of their appearance. But the six figure ninja is not weird!
Be an incredible douchebag Ninjas are not nice, and six figure ninjas are regular ninjas with a heightened attitude. Mortal men do not associate with the likes of the six figure ninja - they cannot compare! Who would share a cobb salad or a Blimpie sub with a man who has transcended their worthiness by fathomless tiers? NONE! Be the douchebag!
Focus time wisely on all things cutting edge Do not spend time understandng the backward tools of mortal men. They are meek and feeble! Focus instead on all that is new and appealing, and know enough to distinguish it in a crowded room. But be conservative! The six figure ninja does waste time on mastering any tools, for all tools become old and lack hype. Be the hype!
Follow these rule, and you will be on the path to commanding your dreams as an arrogant, flighty, trend-chasing, sales-pitching, unique and useless six figure ninja!
Or, maybe a five figure ninja. Settle for five if you must, but live for six figures if you can. Seriously.
