You're a mom who's just given birth to a beautiful bouncing baby, and now your days are relegated to changing diapers and lactating for your progeny. Now that all the attention is on your baby, you've become a glorified milk factory. What's a mother to do?
Why cash in on your MAMMARY CAPITAL of course!
That's right! There's tons of feeding mothers who need what your body's producing naturally: warm, economically valuable breast milk! It's easy, it's convenient, and it's so freakin' bizarre that laws haven't caught up with it (yet).
But why would other mom's buy my breast milk?
Infant formula milk is mostly saw dust and iron filings. But mother's milk is created in the breastonious zone of the body, where warm and good things are born (as proven by this picture of Dolly Parton).
If you are one of the fortunate mothers who can breast feed, you enjoy a practice that some mothers cannot take part in. For those mothers who are not able to breast feed their children - for one reason or another, be it inverted nipples or uncanny baby canine teeth - they are looking for a way to give their babies something other than the traditional store bought, saw dust ridden formula milk.
Immoral? That's commie talk. This is the free market! And in our free market, companies like Prolacta Bioscience are making a killing from the excess baby juice that you're not giving to your rugrats. It's simple economics! There are mothers in need of vital body fluids they cannot produce themselves, and you have the leverage to charge exorbitant prices for your own. Supply and demand!
Is this legal?
You ask too many questions. Sure, it's sort of legal! Although, with Pelosi in the high chair, who knows what those kooky Dem's will pull come January. That's why you have to act now! There's lots of needy hospitals that could use the life-giving fluid that's seeping from your teets. Aren't you finally ready to put your breast milk to use for financial gain?
Body Fluids: The next frontier for opportunists
Don't sit idly by and let the market leave you in the stone age - move ahead of the market!Start collecting your unused spit and saliva now, before the demand comes in, so you can be one step ahead of the game!
And for the portly, what would you say if I told you that some day your sweaty polo shirts can be drenched... with financial opportunity! Don't let those fat cat Wall Street Tycoons make all the big bucks! Start collecting sweat today, so you can make a killing tomorrow!
Eventually, people will require all types of body fluid to avoid health disasters of varying kinds: don't you want to be there when they do, so you can make a huge profit?
Don't just dream the American dream. Get yourself a carton of mason jars, and start canning your financial freedom today!
Infant formula milk is mostly saw dust and iron filings. But mother's milk is created in the breastonious zone of the body, where warm and good things are born (as proven by this picture of Dolly Parton).