On the way into work the other day, I was listening to a local FM morning yak show discussing - who'd have guessed it? - the problems of some caller with an unfaithful partner. Somewhere in the midst of their banter, the host brought up a recent Women's Day survey of women and infidelity. In it, of the married women who were asked if they would marry their husband all over again given the choice, 56% of women surveyed said either "No" or "I don't know".
Sure, generally surveys are bogus, sensational crap. But still, this has to mean something, especially considering all the things we hear about divorce rates in this country. Everyone's heard the iffy statistic that says 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce, and we've all seen how cheating makes for great day time TV junk food. It's usually at this point everyone jumps in on the familiar chorus: "The world's going to crap." I love this song, because the lyrics may change, but the melody and the refrain are always the same."People today don't know what faithfulness is", "guys are dogs", "women are tramps", and "the gays are threatening marriage" (with some sort of weapon I suppose, like a pastel Fendi blackjack perhaps).
Personally, I'm not so easily disappointed or threatened. Religious groups get distraught over today's higher divorce rate, but the only thing it says to me is that it's easier to get a divorce. That's it.
Of course, people like to look back on fabled "golden years" when marriage used to be a sacred vow. Back then, when times got hard, you had to "roll with the punches" - which is why so many wives wore extra foundation (to cover the bruising). Divorce was taboo, and even the worst marriage was held together by a concrete status quo.
I don't care how much of a Christian you are, a bad marriage is not sacred.
If the number of divorces and failed marriages in today's world truly shakes you to the bone, you have to under a few things about marriage itself. First, almost half of married couples get hitched in their 20's or earlier. Do do remember what your room looked like in your twenties? How about some of the interesting tattoos you decided to get when you were 19? If you once thought that Marvin the Martian would look cool on your left butt cheek for the rest of your life, what makes you think you're any better equipped to decide on a lifelong bond with an equally confused person in their late-teens or early twenties?
Then there's what marriage has become: that top step on the ladder of relationships. A lot of kids are led to believe that when you really love someone, like when Matthew Mcconaughey meets Jennifer Aniston in some cheesy romance, the most romantic thing you can do for them is a last-minute, race to the airport proposal. Reality sets in when you both have to find agreeable cohabitation roles, write off any future potential mates, and spend the rest of your natural lives together no matter how much either of you changes. And, at 18 (hell, even at 38), there's no telling what those changes will be. When your spouse tells you, "Honey, I've decided to become a Hari Krishna," you better be ready to suck it up and adjust your carpool route.
You also have the dreamers who paint married life on a velvet canvas with bright earth tones and singing birds. In reality, marriage may have less gazebo tea parties and backpacking across Europe than you had expected, and instead have more shrilling laughter, messy sinks, underwear on the couch, disturbing body hair, and wild flatulence. I mean wild farting. Hey, we're human, and some folks are just destined to spend their lives chasing the greener grass because they can't stand the way their partner chews Rice Kripies.
Finally, to some degree, you have inherent biology working against you. Even in the animal kingdom, monogamous relationships start out great at first, and then level out after 2-3 years, after which couples sometimes start hunting for other mates (as with the guests on Jerry Springer, it's usually the male). You think it's any wonder why 20% of American marriages end in the first 5 years? Some folks are weak and horny. This isn't new, it's just better researched and televised.
What it boils down to is...
...a lot of people can't spend a lifetime with the ones they love. It's unfortunate, but it's human nature. I say if two adults agree they no longer want to be married, they should make arrangements for any children they have, and then promptly get the hell away from each other. We don't need two more miserable people in this world. And if dad wants to chase girls gone wild, no kid needs that sort of walking prick to play father - let him follow his wet dreams alone. Good parents can recover from a divorce, and marriage doesn't guarantee good parents.
Simply put, there are times when divorce is for the best, and no one else's personal beliefs or politics should stand in the way of that.
No, I don't feel marriage is threatened because Bradjolina is going sour or because the married guy from advertising can't keep his hands off of the new girl from finance. It's gone on for years, and it doesn't make me feel any worse about society that people can't live harmoniously together. As long as Anna and I never have any financial problems, have four hours of free time together each day, our looks never age and we never grow old, then I'll be just fine.
On the way into work the other day, I was listening to a local 
You also have the dreamers who paint married life on a velvet canvas with bright earth tones and singing birds. In reality, marriage may have less gazebo tea parties and backpacking across Europe than you had expected, and instead have more shrilling laughter, messy sinks, underwear on the couch, disturbing body hair, and wild flatulence. I mean wild farting. Hey, we're human, and some folks are just destined to spend their lives chasing the greener grass because they can't stand the way their partner chews Rice Kripies.